Tom Felton awkwardly confronted to sexy Drarry fan art!

 I feel totally sorry for Tom Felton as he is confronted to some sexy Drarry fan art.

Tom:

"I'm not sure if you've heard much about what the topics are usually about.... but the one I got was, uh, was rather alarming... within twenty pages, characters were... interacting in a way that they really shouldn't... And it went from everyone, from Hagrid and Dumbledore to... Draco and Harry!"

Watch it, it is pretty hilarious :)

The Top 5 Weirdest/ Most Disturbing Fanfic Pairings I Could Find

Ah, fanfiction… a place where anything is possible. Authors get carried away, and well, the least we can say is that sometimes, characters get hurt in the process.

Today, I searched the whole fanfiction.net website for the weirdest, most disturbing couples I could find. Consider yourselves lucky for not having to read the stories that go along with them. Because I had to. And there are some images I won’t be able to forget.

Like, ever.

5. Harry Potter / Severus Snape

    ngaladel.deviantart.com

The pairing is surprisingly popular on fanfiction.net. In fact, the top 3 pairings I most encounter on fanfiction.net would actually be Draco/ Harry (not weird enough to make it to that list, but still kinda strange); Hermione/ Draco (EXTREMELY popular) and Severus/ Harry (oh god why).

Snarry is wrong on so many levels. And I am not even talking about the age difference, or the fact that Snape is Harry’s teacher. Those two factors aren’t too disturbing. I can cope with that. But Severus Snape, falling in love with Lily’s son?! Yes, the boy does have his mother’s eyes and Lily’s personality… but come on; he’s the son of the woman Snape once loved. Harry isn’t Lily. Nor is he James. He’s a whole different person, and he is very, very unlikely to be attracted to his grumpy potions master. And even so, Severus Snape would never consider Harry as anything other than James and Lily’s son.  Period.

You psychos.

4. Severus Snape / Ron Weasley

Now, that’s a rare pairing. And I think we can all understand why. I mean, can you actually imagine the two of them together, enjoying a nice romantic diner on Valentine’s Day? Because I most certainly can’t.

I actually found the pairing through Empty Fire, a fanfiction by TigerLily927 (rated K+). I thought you might enjoy some quotes:

“He couldn't lie to himself. Even though he had bedded many men and woman since he was now considered a war hero, not one of them gave him the passion he desired like the red head gave. He was honestly shocked to say the least.”

“Not so long ago it seemed that the Professor was sneering down at the boy for exchanging snickers and giggles between him and potter in his class. But, over time the man watched the boy lose his young fearful face, for one of strength and honor due to his role within the war. No longer could he consider him a child, but a comrade and equal instead.”

I wonder what Alan Rickman and Rupert Grint would think about it. Now, that would be a fun question to ask them, wouldn’t it? ;)

3. Hermione Granger / Flitwick

Filius writing to his beloved one.

Yes. They did it. Luckily, I only found one fanfiction using the pairing: Waterbed, by Keelia Ann (rated T). I was utterly relieved to learn she wrote it as a joke. Judge for yourself:

“Professor Filius Flitwick imagined the look on his precious Hermione's face as she read his heartfelt letter. First her mouth would drop open in surprise at getting a letter from her favorite teacher, and then as she read it she would smile fondly at his eloquent compliments, then gasp and blush at his passionate proclamation of love. She'd drop the letter and collapse into a chair. She would be shocked, and a little afraid, but then she would realize how much she cared about her professor and decide to talk to him.

Yes. Dear, sweet, Hermione. She was his darling Hermione, though she would soon be his darling lover. After all, who could resist a man like Filius ?”

Also, the ending is pure genious:

"Hermione, just one last thing!"

She stopped--however much she hated it, he was still her teacher!--but refused to turn around. "Y-yes?"

"I just want you to remember… I have a waterbed."

A WATERBED?! 

How could any woman resist a man with a waterbed?!

 GO GET HIM HERMIONE!

2. Hermione Granger/ Minerva Mc Gonagall

chloe-art.com

Uh, yeah. Awkward. Incredibly weird. Also, in the fanfic I've read, Minerva casually turns into a cat and sleeps on Hermione.

How... cute.

Bet you didn't see that one coming.

1. Hermione Granger / Dumbledore

Some people have sick minds. Honestly.

 I give you: Headmaster and Headgirl : An Unlikely Love Story, by Seriously Crazy fanboy.

Never has a pseudonym been more appropriate.

“As per tradition, Dumbledore and Hermione shared the "Head" Quarters of Hogwarts, the rooms that were reserved for Headboy and Headgirl. They were two separate rooms and bathrooms although they shared a corridor so they could be accessed easily. Hermione was now sleeping in her room and Dumbledore couldn't fall asleep, so he watched Hermione sleep.”

I love how casually it is said. “Dumbledore couldn’t fall asleep, so he watched Hermione sleep”.

A nice way to say he was stalking her. 
Pervert.

“During the war, he felt the need to cut his beard and trimmed it to a more stylish fashion. He also cut his hair since he was starting to look like an old maid rather than an esteemed warlock. That realization was again thanks to Hermione who also got him a wardrobe upgrade. Needless to say, the Order was pleasantly surprised when he walked into the meeting wearing a classy tuxedo and carrying a briefcase.

Fashion Dumbledore. Epic.

SPOILER :
 he proposes to her in the end.

So that’s it, hope you enjoyed it!
 If you can think of any other weird pairing, comment and I might do a part 2!

Always.

                         

"Does it make a difference, being Muggle-Born?"

Snape hesitated. His black eyes, eager in the greenish gloom, moved over the pale face, the dark red hair. “No,” he said. “It doesn’t make any difference.”

                               cactusrain.deviantart.com

The Seven Stages Of Denial

Flying-foxx.deviantart.com

The Prince's Tale Animation

This is a truly wonderful animation, realised by RandomMumble. It is based on The Prince's Tale chapter. Worth watching!

Top 5 Severus Snape Hair Flips

Don't you dare say this is a silly idea.
The hair flips are entirely part of the whole character. It is a mute way of saying "Whatever, you inarticulate twat. I'm fabulous."
Now let's get to it.

Number 5:

"I'm a model, you know what I mean

And I do a little turn on the catwalk."

Number 4:

  Indeed, you are.

Number 3:

His hair are like, alive.

Number 2:

"EXP-P-P-ELLIARMUS!"

And finally....

Number 1:

We Need To Talk About Pottermore

PTFCTLS. No, this is not a new kind of stupid acronym (we’ve had enough of that with yolo, thank you), but rather what you’ll find yourself typing all day long on the notorious Pottermore website, publically launched in March 2012. PTFCTLS. Petrificus Totalus. Now, if you find yourself quite skilled at pressing keys rhythmically, you might get lucky and score over 142 points, which will (almost) surely guarantee your victory over your opponent. Surely it cannot be that hard. Ok, so now you’re about to get into your first real duel (training is for pussies). Concentration now, here it comes. Relax. Take a few breaths and… P-T-F-C-T-L-S. Wow, look at you! Gryffindor house just won 5 points thanks to you – surely they’ll win the House Cup this year. Better go duel another filthy Slytherin!

                                           

Now, you might want to try some other spells – the Curse of Bogies sure looks like a lot of fun, and Incendio would do the job just right- but, well, it seems they all are pretty useless and make you look like a noob to your fellow companions (PTFCTLS experts). Some even sent you a “friend invitation” that kinda seemed to mean «I’m adding you as a friend because you’re so bad I want to duel the shit out of you». After a few minutes, you’ll find the only way to really gain points is to use Petrificus Totalus over and over again. Ok, fine, if it really is the only way, you’ll do it.

After 10 minutes, you find yourself extremely bored. Bored, and frustrated over those robot/aliens who actually seem to score 144 or 145 every damn time (how is that even possible?! Did they follow intensive duel training or something?!). But how did this happen? It all started so well. You got sorted into Gryffindor (the cooler house, duh), bought a super-mega-foxy-awesome wand at Ollivanders, discovered a book of spells (with a video in it, how awesome is that, no need to read a book anymore JK Rowling just appears and tell you what’s in it)… Everything was going smoothly. You even tried to brew a few potions but failed miserably and decided that potions were a Slytherin thing anyway. So, why do you suddenly find yourself… bored?

                                                                               Oops.

Here’s your answer: because there’s nothing much left to do once you’ve explored all the chapters. You can still duel people, but it is repetitive and can be frustrating when you know some people just cheat and let a program do it all day long for them (because, I mean, earning points on a website designed for children is obviously vital to some people). I actually got so bored I sent some salt and pepper to complete strangers. Yeah. I did that. Don’t judge me.

It is kind of disappointing. I mean, the world of Harry Potter is supposed to be full of discoveries, and wonders, and magic amazingness. It shouldn’t bore you!

Now, I am not saying Pottermore is a terrible project: the illustrations are pretty damn cool, and it is really exciting to learn new things about our favorite characters, objects, etc. in the wizarding world. Some of the mini-games are fun to play and at least show that the Pottermore team realized it should be a little more dynamic. But unfortunately, it doesn’t compensate for the obvious flaws of the website. The biggest flaw would be the lack of action due to the fact that the player isn’t actually… playing. I understand Pottermore isn’t supposed to be a game like the ones released for PC, PS3, etc., but it is still supposed to be entertaining and fun, and to allow the user to experience the wizarding world like he never did before. But how can he do that if he cannot actually interact with it? Of course we can pick up objects and use some of them to brew potions but that’s about it.

I think I speak for all the fandom when I say I want to be able to raise my wand and dodge spells during duels! I actually dread for the Quidditch (which isn’t unlocked yet), please don’t let it be as repetitive and boring as the duels! A Quidditch mini-game, for example, would be awesome. Honestly. Guys. Don’t disappoint me.

Anyways, I am still curious about what they’ll come up with in the future. And still praying for a Harry Potter MMORPG. Think about it: being able to walk around the castle at your wish, learning new spells to gain levels, playing Quidditch against other houses… not mentioning how awesome it would be to role-play with friends in the common rooms. Just saying. But in the meantime, well… I’ll perfect my PTFCTLS skills. Watch out, Pottermore. 

Slytherin’s about to gain a hell of a lot of points.