The Top 5 Weirdest/ Most Disturbing Fanfic Pairings I Could Find

Ah, fanfiction… a place where anything is possible. Authors get carried away, and well, the least we can say is that sometimes, characters get hurt in the process.

Today, I searched the whole fanfiction.net website for the weirdest, most disturbing couples I could find. Consider yourselves lucky for not having to read the stories that go along with them. Because I had to. And there are some images I won’t be able to forget.

Like, ever.

5. Harry Potter / Severus Snape

    ngaladel.deviantart.com

The pairing is surprisingly popular on fanfiction.net. In fact, the top 3 pairings I most encounter on fanfiction.net would actually be Draco/ Harry (not weird enough to make it to that list, but still kinda strange); Hermione/ Draco (EXTREMELY popular) and Severus/ Harry (oh god why).

Snarry is wrong on so many levels. And I am not even talking about the age difference, or the fact that Snape is Harry’s teacher. Those two factors aren’t too disturbing. I can cope with that. But Severus Snape, falling in love with Lily’s son?! Yes, the boy does have his mother’s eyes and Lily’s personality… but come on; he’s the son of the woman Snape once loved. Harry isn’t Lily. Nor is he James. He’s a whole different person, and he is very, very unlikely to be attracted to his grumpy potions master. And even so, Severus Snape would never consider Harry as anything other than James and Lily’s son.  Period.

You psychos.

4. Severus Snape / Ron Weasley

Now, that’s a rare pairing. And I think we can all understand why. I mean, can you actually imagine the two of them together, enjoying a nice romantic diner on Valentine’s Day? Because I most certainly can’t.

I actually found the pairing through Empty Fire, a fanfiction by TigerLily927 (rated K+). I thought you might enjoy some quotes:

“He couldn't lie to himself. Even though he had bedded many men and woman since he was now considered a war hero, not one of them gave him the passion he desired like the red head gave. He was honestly shocked to say the least.”

“Not so long ago it seemed that the Professor was sneering down at the boy for exchanging snickers and giggles between him and potter in his class. But, over time the man watched the boy lose his young fearful face, for one of strength and honor due to his role within the war. No longer could he consider him a child, but a comrade and equal instead.”

I wonder what Alan Rickman and Rupert Grint would think about it. Now, that would be a fun question to ask them, wouldn’t it? ;)

3. Hermione Granger / Flitwick

Filius writing to his beloved one.

Yes. They did it. Luckily, I only found one fanfiction using the pairing: Waterbed, by Keelia Ann (rated T). I was utterly relieved to learn she wrote it as a joke. Judge for yourself:

“Professor Filius Flitwick imagined the look on his precious Hermione's face as she read his heartfelt letter. First her mouth would drop open in surprise at getting a letter from her favorite teacher, and then as she read it she would smile fondly at his eloquent compliments, then gasp and blush at his passionate proclamation of love. She'd drop the letter and collapse into a chair. She would be shocked, and a little afraid, but then she would realize how much she cared about her professor and decide to talk to him.

Yes. Dear, sweet, Hermione. She was his darling Hermione, though she would soon be his darling lover. After all, who could resist a man like Filius ?”

Also, the ending is pure genious:

"Hermione, just one last thing!"

She stopped--however much she hated it, he was still her teacher!--but refused to turn around. "Y-yes?"

"I just want you to remember… I have a waterbed."

A WATERBED?! 

How could any woman resist a man with a waterbed?!

 GO GET HIM HERMIONE!

2. Hermione Granger/ Minerva Mc Gonagall

chloe-art.com

Uh, yeah. Awkward. Incredibly weird. Also, in the fanfic I've read, Minerva casually turns into a cat and sleeps on Hermione.

How... cute.

Bet you didn't see that one coming.

1. Hermione Granger / Dumbledore

Some people have sick minds. Honestly.

 I give you: Headmaster and Headgirl : An Unlikely Love Story, by Seriously Crazy fanboy.

Never has a pseudonym been more appropriate.

“As per tradition, Dumbledore and Hermione shared the "Head" Quarters of Hogwarts, the rooms that were reserved for Headboy and Headgirl. They were two separate rooms and bathrooms although they shared a corridor so they could be accessed easily. Hermione was now sleeping in her room and Dumbledore couldn't fall asleep, so he watched Hermione sleep.”

I love how casually it is said. “Dumbledore couldn’t fall asleep, so he watched Hermione sleep”.

A nice way to say he was stalking her. 
Pervert.

“During the war, he felt the need to cut his beard and trimmed it to a more stylish fashion. He also cut his hair since he was starting to look like an old maid rather than an esteemed warlock. That realization was again thanks to Hermione who also got him a wardrobe upgrade. Needless to say, the Order was pleasantly surprised when he walked into the meeting wearing a classy tuxedo and carrying a briefcase.

Fashion Dumbledore. Epic.

SPOILER :
 he proposes to her in the end.

So that’s it, hope you enjoyed it!
 If you can think of any other weird pairing, comment and I might do a part 2!